God’s Nuts
I’d had kind of enough. I started venting to God. Why is it that every company that makes cookies with white chocolate feels that they must include macadamia nuts? I mean, I like macadamias well enough but generally I prefer my cookies without nuts. It’s a textural thing, I think, but that isn’t the point. The point is that you can get regular chocolate chip cookies, or chocolate chunk cookies, either with or without nuts and mostly without. But white chocolate? You’d better like not just nuts, but macadamia nuts.
God was actually looking kind of sheepish by the end of my short rant and I pushed him to tell me why.
It turns out it’s his fault. God’s always had a thing for putting inspirational thoughts into people’s heads, it’s just something he does for fun. But when you look back on things, a lot of what he’s put out there over the years has been either misreceived or misinterpreted. And there’s been a lot of personal prejudices that people have tried to pass off as the inspired word of God. (That’s how we get things like the Taliban or the Crusades.) So not too long ago, historically speaking, God felt like doing a little meme planting, just to, you know, pick up on an old hobby, but he was kind of afraid to try to push anything too important, less we end up with even more oppression and suicide bombers. So he decided to do something innocuous. He pushed out the idea that white chocolate cookies should have macadamia nuts.
He never meant that to be an exclusive thing. He just felt that both white chocolate and macadamia nuts were underrepresented in cookies and so he figured the combination of them would be unlikely enough that if it caught on he could figure it was due to his meddling.
So cookie makers, here’s the new word from God: You can use white chocolate and macadamia nuts in whatever combinations you want. They don’t always have to both be there. Got that? Thanks.
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